Rich People are Crazy

Saturday, March 25, 2006

I'm very annoyed with myself for not writing lately. I've had some interesting experiences too, so I have lots to write about!

I suppose I should start with the current, and then go backwards....

Last night P's son shot a man.

The phone rang at about 2:30a.m. and I thought I was dreaming. This morning I confirmed it was true. His girlfriend (FRW) had woken him up and told him that someone had opened the bedroom window, had a flashlight, and was reaching in. D grabbed his gun and shot. The shot bounced off of the grill and wounded, but did not kill the man. The man turned out to be someone who had worked for FRW. She had fired him after catching him stealing. D took the man to the hospital and then went straight to the police station to report the incident. Of course, they took his firearm for "ballistics" testing, which is standard procedure, but now he's without a gun. Everyone here knows that this is the case: Any incident involving a legal firearm results in the firearm being confiscated for some period of time. Since everyone now knows he’s without his gun, it makes him extremely vulnerable. The whole thing is going to get expensive too, as he has to hire a lawyer to consult when he gives his official statement to the police, and he will undoubtedly have to pay someone a hefty bribe to get his gun back (otherwise it will languish in the system indefinitely). D has never shot a person before, so I think this has been pretty jarring to him.

Weekend of March 10-12: Went to Royal Plantation. It is a great place. Everything is pure luxury. Really impressive! We met a nice American couple there. The second evening they asked us to hang out with them after dinner (they were there with a group, and eating with them). Apparently the service for them was really slow, so we were waiting and waiting. They sent over a bottle of Dom Perignon for us to apologize for us having to wait. Can you believe that? Do you know how much it costs to buy a bottle of that shit at a hotel? Rich people are crazy.

Weekend of March 17-19: Went to St. Mary for a party. Wore an outfit that made every single person there drop their jaw. I looked hella sexy if I do say so myself! This thrilled P so much that he decided on the spot that we should stay together forever and get married and yadda yadda yadda. I think the fact that it gives him a hard-on to see me in a sexy outfit is a flimsy reason to get married, but what do I know?

March 21: My divorce is final. I’m free from husband #2.

Royal Treatment

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I went to the International Women's Day event last night as an "honored guest of Prime Minister Designate Portia Simpson-Miller". It turned out to be quite a political rally, but a lot of the entertainment was good, and I met Portia for the first time. Actually, my seat was directly behind hers, so you might get a peek of me if you watch the news coverage carefully ;-)

I was appalled at how lax her security is. It made me incredibly uncomfortable to be so near her when the crowds of people started to crush in around her. They hadn't screened anyone who came to the event, and the security allowed absolutely anyone and everyone to get right up in her face. All I could picture was some madman gutting her with a knife, and the ensuing riot that would cause. After watching all of this for a while, I touched Portia on the shoulder and told her how much I admire the personal sacrifice she makes by serving her country and her people this way. I don't know her politics, but I can see that her life is not her own. It must be so difficult! Nearly everyone who speaks to her has some agenda - they want something or even just want to say they are associated with her. She has to smile and make nice with everyone who approaches her, no matter how revolting they may be. She has to attend event after event after boring event and always act thrilled to be there. Honestly - I couldn't do it. I have a newfound, if grudging, respect for public figures.

I’m getting ready to pack for my weekend at Royal Plantation. I’ve been there for their end-of-month Sunday Brunch, but I’ve never stayed overnight. Everything better be covered in 24k gold considering the absolutely outrageous prices they charge. To be honest, I can think of other things I would have rather spent that money on, but it’s P’s way of doing something special for me, so I do appreciate it.

Shhhh..... it's a secret!

I stole this from esoterikrootz, who stole it from babydoll_2322 and cmestrange

If you had me alone... locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me?

All replies will be permanently screened because it's a secret.

Afterwards, repost this in your LJ. You might be surprised with the responses you get.
  • Current Mood
    curious curious

A Jamaican Grocery List

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I got up early today to get stuff done. As much as I hate getting up early, it really does help me get more done. Once I’m up and about I stop bitching and get on with my day. Had boiled green banana and a slice of curried barracuda for breakfast.

I did wholesale and market shopping this morning. There is no supermarket where I live. There is a small SuperPlus wholesale place where I get basic items like rice, flour, sugar, canned beans, water crackers, bully beef, condensed milk (comes in a can – we use that instead of milk and sugar to sweeten coffee), saltfish, coconut milk powder, coffee, some spices, and detergent. The market is an outdoor affair and has a limited selection of fresh vegetables. I usually get onions, scallion, irish (that’s what potatoes are called here), yam, cabbage, green bananas, pepper (scotch bonnet pepper is just called “pepper” here), and pumpkin at the market. When I get the chance to go to an actual supermarket I buy meat, butter, fruit, and all the other goodies I can’t get at the wholesale.

I did a lot of “research” on The Sims 2 today. I like to play the game, but wanted to get some more tips and tricks, and maybe download some furniture, houses, etc.

Went to VH to chat and eat some chicken wings. I talked to a guy from Germany who’s here on a contract. He’s been all over the world. Interesting old guy.

Our koi pond is having serious troubles. Eleven of the 13 gorgeous, huge koi died between yesterday and today. We have many, many more smaller fish too, and they are dropping like flies.

My betta is doing ok though. He’s in a little tank on my nightstand, and I love having him there. I didn’t like him being downstairs, because I didn’t have a chance to admire him much. Now I can lie in bed and stare at him until I fall asleep. I find it very soothing.

The rest of the week is going to be busy, busy, busy, and we’re going to Royal Plantation this weekend, so I know I won’t be getting much rest for the next few days.
  • Current Mood
    busy busy

Wanted: Attractive female between the ages of 18-23

Sunday, March 05, 2006

I was looking at the classifieds this morning, and I’m amazed at the difference in labor laws here. In the United States, it is against the law to specify gender, age and so forth when advertising a job. Here in Jamaica the advertisements are so specific! No wonder young men complain that it’s hard to get a job! Here are some examples:

Wanted: Honest, hardworking live-in housekeeper, ages 35-40 yrs, needed for family of three.

Office helper needed. Must be able to work on Saturdays [brackets mine: must be able to work on Saturdays means no Seventh Day Adventists need apply], must have a valid food handlers permit, must be between the ages of 23-40.

Accepting females to start soon in Bashment Jewellery & Appliance Store. [misspelling theirs]

Advertising specialty company requires a typesetter/graphic artist [brackets mine: a list of qualifications including:] must be over the age of 28.

A new Kingston café is seeking the following: [brackets mine: including:] A young attractive and qualified female to work as cashier.

You have to be pretty to be able to cashier? Interesting. You can’t be a graphic artist unless you’re over 28? So they’d rather have someone over 28 with no degree and only one year experience than someone with a degree in graphic design….
Apparently only females are able to work in a jewelry store, and an “office helper” needs a food handler’s permit and can’t function once they’re past 40. Same with a housekeeper, eh?

I suppose that the same thing goes on in the U.S. They're just more honest here. In the U.S. they just look at you when you show up to the interview and decide you're too old, wrong gender, not attractive enough, etc.


P's 16 year old son and 13 year old daughter are here today, and they both want my computer. I want to be on my computer too. Bwah! I don't mind letting the girl use it, because she doesn't have the opportunity to get online and so forth at her house, but the boy does (they have different mothers... son is from P's wife and daughter is an "outside" child from a poor woman. P gives loads and loads of money to daughter's mother, but it doesn't seem to filter down to daughter very well, which pisses me off).

Anyway, I guess I'll have to find something else to do today... hard for a computer addict like me. Which reminds me! I dreamt last night that I was a crack addict. Bizarre.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed

Crispy Duck and Curried Irish

Saturday, March 04, 2006

The pain is not as intense today as it was yesterday, but my burnt skin is a strange texture – like crispy duck.

We’re going to a friend’s daughter’s sweet sixteen today. We hired a fantastic, well-known magician to perform at the party, but I felt we should get her a little gift to open as well. This girl is a work-boot, jeans, and boys’ t-shirt-wearing tomboy (dare I say butch?), so I knew that perfume, jewelry, etc. would be wasted on her. I bought her a watch that is female but not at all delicate. I hope she likes it.
P took me out and bout me a whole new outfit just to wear to the party. He’s so cute when he takes me shopping. I think he enjoys it more than I do! The party was nice. The magician was great, but some of the people seemed very uncomfortable with it. I think they think it’s some kind of “science”, which means obeah (sort of like voodoo). There was lots of good Indian food (is there anything nicer than curried mango?). P’s 16 year old son said that it wasn’t like the usual sweet 16 parties he goes to. I reminded him that he usually goes to upper-class or society birthday parties. This was a party for a girl from a poor Indian family from the country. They probably had to save for quite some time to afford to have even that simple party. The birthday girl did a lovely Bollywood-style dance after dinner. I was so impressed! I told her that if she will teach me to dance like that, I’ll teach her salsa and merengue. She promised to give me lessons come summer.
  • Current Mood

Brokeback Butus

Friday, March 03, 2006

Another painful day. Spent most of it lying on my side in bed and playing The Sims. We went to see a couple of movies last night, Firewall and Brokeback Mountain. Firewall was entertaining but I wouldn’t say it’s Harrison Ford’s best work. I found it terribly predictable. Brokeback was very good, but was nearly ruined by the ridiculous butus in the audience who couldn’t keep their goddamned mouths shut. I understand that this movie generated a lot of controversy here in Jamaica, but why would people pay to see the movie and then act like fools?

I have noticed that, in general, Jamaicans tend to laugh at things in movies that seem to me inappropriate to laugh at. During the most serious parts of a drama, when someone begins to weep for example, the audience will burst into peals of laughter. They also never stay quiet or gasp at the sight of someone getting hurt. Apparently that’s cause for great mirth.

I’ve asked P to explain that to me, but he just shrugs his shoulders. I notice that he will also laugh when someone in a movie gets hurt, but I don’t think he understands why.

During Brokeback though, some members of the audience were just acting stupid beyond reason. It made it difficult to enjoy the movie. There were a couple of times where I had to bite my tongue to keep from standing up and shouting “SHUT UP YOU IGNORANT-ASS BUTUS, AND TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMNED CELL PHONES!”
  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky


Thursday, March 02, 2006

Woke up in terrible pain this morning from the sunburn. I think P thinks it’s humorous, but I can assure you it’s not. The only way I’m comfortable is if I’m on my side and lie perfectly still. I’m on my side typing this. Lying on my stomach isn’t very comfortable because I end up being perched on top of my gigantic fake boobs. Erk.

In spite of my despair, I decided to go have my hair washed, which was a rotten mistake.


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  • Current Mood
    sick sick

Day Out

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Today was a holiday in Jamaica – Ash Wednesday. The school kids here get the rest of the week off, and get two weeks for Easter holiday! That’s a lot of time off from school.

We went out on the boat with FBE, FDC, three of her nephews, P and I, and P’s daughter. MMC didn’t come, much to FBE’s annoyance… oh the intrigue!

Went to a lovely, private little island that turned out not to be so private after all. Just as we were anchoring, two canoes came roaring up with a bunch of people. Fortunately it was MPH and his family. He’s not pals with P, but they know each other.

I made a horrible, horrible, horrible mistake. I put sunscreen on my arms, shoulders, face, and feet, but not on my legs. I decided I wanted a little color on my legs. It was sunny and windy and I must have been lying on my stomach much longer than I’d realized, because by the time we came home I was burning. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so burnt in all my life, and I’m truly miserable. I’m taking pain pills and putting on topical analgesics but all I want right now is for time to pass. I know that’s the only real cure.
  • Current Mood
    sore sore

Sleep sleep sleep

Monday, February 27, 2006

Had trouble sleeping last night. I took a valium to help me get to sleep, and it worked but I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I took another valium but was restless. I didn't want to take a sleeping pill so late because they're too strong.

I didn't feel up to eating breakfast, so I ate a couple of crackers with butter and tried to drink a little coffee. I went back upstairs and tried to watch TV and get online, but I just didn't feel like it. I ended up going to sleep, and I slept right through lunch. I woke up around 3:30 p.m., checked my email and felt crappy.

P convinced me to come out with him, so I got dressed and we went to VH to eat some chicken wings. I met an American woman there who is from the same area as I, so that was really nice. She's here on business and only here for a couple of days, but we exchanged information and she said she expects to be back here many more times on business.

I felt exhausted when we got home even though I'd slept a lot of the day. I don't know what's wrong with me.

We're going to try (once again) to get high speed Internet access up here. Yet another company claims that they can give us wireless high-speed access. Every time we've tried it so far I've been sorely disappointed, but I'm willing to try again. They're supposed to come at 8 a.m.
  • Current Mood
    crappy crappy